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New Years Eve has always been a bittersweet time for me.

While it certainly brings the promise of a new year and new adventures to come, it is also a reminder that a chapter of my life will be closing. New Years Eve is a time where I must step into the future, as bravely as I’m able, while my heart longs for a time I’ll never see again.

I never want to be held back by the past, but I never want to forget about any part of my life, because then maybe I can better understand how I came to be and what my values are. For the last couple of months, I’ve been noting my most memorable experiences of 2015. I hope that you all take some time to reflect on your year, and realize that these short 12 months really can transform you.

Most Memorable Moments of 2015:

  • Began the New Year off celebrating in Toronto with my best friends – how it’s always been and always will be
  • Travelled to Ottawa for a journalism conference and totally bonded with Cabbie Richards from TSN
  • Completed my reign as Features Editor at The Cord after being on the Editorial Board for three years and passed on as much knowledge as I could to my successor
  • Started working on one two THREE novels and started sending some of my other stories out to publishers, because why should I keep waiting for one day?
  • After years of anxiety and never feeling prepared, I finally took my G2 road test – and I passed. Now I feel so in control when I drive instead of having it be something I’m afraid of
  • Made the conscious effort to love and respect my body and forgave myself for everything I put my body through these last couple of years
  • Read books that made me fall in love with literature all over again:
    • Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro
    • The Shining by Stephen King
    • Doctor Sleep by Stephen King
    • Big Brother by Lionel Shriver
    • My Sergei by Ekaterina Gordeeva
    • Dark Places by Gillian Flynn
    • Sharp Objects by Gillian Flynn
    • The Colour Purple by Alice Walker
    • The Big Sleep by Raymond Chandler
    • Their Eyes Were Watching God by Zora Neale Hurston
    • A Lion Called Christian by John Rendell and Ace Bourke
    • Jaws by Peter Benchley
    • On the Road by Jack Kerouac
    • The Girl on the Train by Paula Hawkins
    • This is How You Lose Her by Junot Diaz
    • The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath
    • The House on Mango Street by Sandra Cisneros
    • Ceremony by Leslie Marmon Silko
    • Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov
    • Pericles by William Shakespeare
    • Siege 13 by Tamas Dobozy
    • The Longest Ride by Nicholas Sparks
    • The Love of a Good Woman by Alice Munro
    • To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee
    • Go Set a Watchman by Harper Lee
    • Frankenstein by Mary Shelley
    • For Whom the Bell Tolls by Ernest Hemingway
    • Fight Club by Chuck Palahniuk
    • Memoirs by Pierre Elliot Trudeau
    • Lord of the Flies by William Golding
    • The Reader by Bernhard Schlink
    • Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy
    • Open Heart by Elie Wiesel
    • Room by Emma Donoghue
    • Common Ground by Justin Trudeau
    • The Beforelife by Franz Wright
    • The Revenant by Michael Punke
  • I had breakfast with Romeo Dallaire and had some pretty intelligent conversations with him
  • I went on a trip with my sisters to Cayo Coco, Cuba where I did the following things: rode horses on the beach, held baby crocodiles and falcons, swam with fish, experienced a new culture and learned to be fearless
  • I graduated from Wilfrid Laurier University with an Honours in English, after four years of anxiety, essays, exams and countless cups of strong black coffee
  • Leonardo DiCaprio regrammed my photo on Instagram, definitely solidifying our plans to get married
  • After working hard and being incredibly persistent and patient, I landed my first internship on the Morning Show and am continuing to further my fashion journalism career
  • After spending 10 years admiring Fashion Week from afar, I had my first job assignment with Fashion Week and nearly peed my polka dot printed pants when I realized that this event got my foot into the door of the career I wanted
  • I had floor seats to see One Direction in concert, where Harry Styles and I were definitely couple’s matching and will likely get married (if Leonardo DiCaprio doesn’t get to it first)
  • Fell in love with the same guy a hundred times more this year when we were strangers in a dark room than I did the four years of ups and downs and finally decided that it was time I fell in love with myself instead of someone who wouldn’t stay or give me the love I wanted and deserved
  • In just over a year’s time, I completed the 100 Days of Fashion Challenge and feel so much more confident in both myself and my future career path and endeavours
  • Found out who my real friends and family are
  • Realized that not everyone deserves to have my forgiveness and that sometimes taking the high road isn’t always the best solution
  • Decided that I wouldn’t settle with “okay” or “good enough”
  • I discovered that there is something oddly beautiful about being alone and not feeling insignificant
  • I learned that things will change, including myself. And that is the best thing that could ever happen

 

Happy New Year everyone – let’s make 2016 the year of aggressive self-love.